Did You Know? People SWEAR Sometimes on Xbox Live!

I know, right? We’re all shocked too. It’s… almost… as if… people indulging in recreational activities without supervision, required or not, under a blanket of internet anonymity… can get a little worked up on occasion. Go figure!

Thankfully we have a crack team of serious hard-boiled journalists over at some random ABC local news affiliate (not at all fumbling around to fill airtime) to help us sort all this out.

Quoth ABC Local:

“Incredible levels of profanity, racial epithets, homosexually-oriented epithets. We’re talking 8-, 9-, 10-, 11-year-old kids who are getting exposed to this regularly,” said Roberts.

Internet safety expert Parry Aftab says this inappropriate language in online gaming is rampant, and she’s concerned it’s leading to dangerous cyber bullying.

“They may trash talk. They may be calling you names. They may steal their passwords. Or a lot of them may gang up on one online, not because it’s a good strategic win, but to hurt the other person,” said Aftab.

I bet they all wear fedoras with little cards that say “press” on them.

Seriously, there’s this little thing called the internet, guys. Maybe you’ve heard of it before? It’s that place where your story was posted. Take a cursory glance at your own comments section and maybe you’ll see how this thing works.

People are dicks. On and offline, in-game or not, whether children are around or not. And here’s a mindbender for you: those “8-, 9-, 10-, 11-year-old kids” whose innocence you’re so afraid for? As it happens, they’re all dicks too. There’s a reason all those whiny voices pouring in through my headset – that is, if I ever turned it on – all sound like pre-pubescent snot-nosed punks.

I’ll assume you were young once and have at some point in your lives spent time on a playground. Even if you were the most sheltered children on Earth, the rest of ’em probably weren’t, so chances are you were “exposed to inappropriate material” just by being social and having friends.

But forget that. There’s HARD-HITTING JOURNALISM to be done! Prep the exploding vans, we’ll see you at the local Emmys!

Source: Kotaku.

Trailer Dissection: Doctor Who Season 7 Trailer

Oh, hi there! Welcome to Trailer Dissection! This new feature will attempt to wring a little bit of actual content and discussion out of news posts that would normally just be me playing copy-pasta with YouTube embed codes and calling them “articles”. Look! We’ve even got timestamps and everything, so you can really tell that a quantifiable number of minutes and seconds of effort were put into this!

Honestly, I don’t know if we’ll be doing this every time a trailer is posted here, as sooner or later one will come along that doesn’t carry the same amount of fandom investment in our staff as, say, Doctor Who. But we’ll do our best.

So, let’s get on with it. These paps ain’t gonna smear themselves. Continue reading Trailer Dissection: Doctor Who Season 7 Trailer

Hello Kitty Finally Breaks Out The Lingerie

The old joke, “if a product exists, there is a Hello Kitty version of it,” is so shockingly accurate that it could be considered the real-life equivalent to the internet’s Rule 34. With that in mind, it’s actually pretty surprising that it took this long for a line of designer lingerie to emerge. Pretty tame by comparison to Hello Kitty ball gags, don’t you think?

Finally! The perfect companion piece for your girlfriend’s Hello Kitty “shoulder massager”! Track down a pair of Bad Batz Maru boxer shorts and you’ve got the building blocks of a very Sanrio-tastic evening.

Source: CF Forums. Thanks, ard!

Suikoden-Inspired Americana Dawn Exceeds Kickstarter Goal

Much has been said over the last couple months about the emergence of Kickstarter as a funding platform for game development, with projects both big and small finding success. Sometimes, that success can be overwhelming, as was the case with Double Fine’s as-yet untitled adventure game project.

But nevermind the big names; if the rising tide of Kickstarter is indeed lifting all the boats (ugh!), then one of those little boats more people should be jumping into is Max K. Lam’s Americana Dawn, a Japanese-style RPG with strong artistic and mechanical influences from Konami’s criminally neglected Genso Suikoden franchise.

Here’s hoping that this little gem will roll out soon now that its funding goal has been met and exceeded. Not only could that particular era of American history really use a fresh take, via edutainment or otherwise, but it’s been almost six years since the last proper Suikoden game and as far as I’m aware, no other project taking those games as a primary inspiration have ever gotten this far. Or, for that matter: existed.

Frak, Again: SyFy Passes on Blood and Chrome

Despite everyone loving the hell out of that sweet trailer that leaked online yesterday (which was very quickly pulled), SyFy has once again reiterated its apathy towards the Battlestar Galactica prequel Blood and Chrome. “It was ALWAYS meant to be a YouTube thing,” apparently. Let’s see if we can pull together a few other reasons.

1) Fans of genre television must always suffer, whether due to early cancellations, rejected pilots, network intervention, showrunner musical chairs, unnecessary/unplanned epilogue seasons, or various combinations of the above.

2) SyFy is afraid of stumbling on another mainstream critical success, just in case the folks from the New York Times or Rolling Stone or whatever – y’know, Important Entertainment Journalists™ – start tuning in more often to discover that aside from this one big show, all the network really does is WWE and Mansquito-level TV movies.

3) As previously implied by the fate of that other Battlestar Galactica prequel Caprica, odds are best that the network simply has no idea how to handle its own franchises. SyFy: the Sega of basic cable.

Oh well, at least we might still get that “digital series”, which in science fiction production terms is basically just a diplomatic way of saying “green screens and virtual sets for everything!” So, Blood and Chrome will be to Battlestar Galactica as The Lost Tales was to Babylon 5. Got it.

Source: Deadline.

Blood and Chrome Trailer Post In Which The Word “Frak” Is Used (UPDATED!)

UPDATE: NBC/Universal pulled the trailer with the speed of… something BSG-related that is very speedy, I don’t know. So you’ll just have to use your imaginations until it reappears someday on a DVD or something.

Frak. There, it’s done. Moving on!

There hasn’t really been any word on Blood and Chrome since the depressing revelation last year that SyFy had downgraded its status from “THE FIRST WORTHWHILE SERIES ATTACHED TO OUR NETWORK SINCE BATTLESTAR GALACTICA ENDED” to “oh, it’ll just be a webseries.” With that unfortunate handicap in mind… wow, this actually looks pretty good, doesn’t it?

Oh sure, there’s been the occasional success story in the series of tubes format – take Mortal Kombat Legacy as one example, which oh-so-coincidentally featured BSG‘s Tahmoh Penikett – but c’mon. You can tout online distribution as Lisa Simpson’s “wave of the future!” as much as you want; it’s just not an ideal showcase for your only franchise still capable of garnering both popular and critical acclaim.

…no, wrestling doesn’t count.

Source: Warming Glow

Community Is Back! Tonight! Watch It!

I’m not usually one to cheerlead for my favourite shows like this – a lifetime of letting myself get attached to doomed sci-fi/fantasy franchises will sap that energy eventually – yet I feel the need to make an exception this time.

Community is an amazing show. Along with FX’s Archer, it represents the current pinnacle of smart TV comedy and is easily the funniest show going on the major networks. Unfortunately, unlike Archer, not to mention a whole slew of far less entertaining sitcoms that simply refuse to die, Community has been teetering on the brink of cancellation for some time now. That it’s even returned to play-out the remainder of its current season is an occurrence we all considered to be somewhat unlikely just a few months ago.

So tune in tonight at 8PM and watch it, goddamnit. NBC. CityTV for us canucks. 8PM. On the TV. Just do it. Otherwise, I’ll be forced to echo Britta’s sentiment below.

Hobbit Pub Threatened by Sharkey/SZC

In one of those “big business made to look hysterical by threatening local businesses” stories, a pub in the suburb of Portswood, England has been threatened with legal action by the Saul Zaentz Company, holder of many rights pertaining to the works of J.R.R. Tolkien for being called the Hobbit Pub.

Lest you think this is a silly coincidence, the Hobbit Pub has indeed been Lord of the Rings branded for years, with Gandalf and Frodo cocktails (a mixture of foot hair, homo-eroticism and served at a peculiar angle to make it look smaller than it actually is) being part of the regular menu there.

Landlady Ms. Roberts suggests that she wasn’t aware she was infringing copyright, didn’t mean to hurt anyone and, besides, how long do you get to hold on to the rights of a book with Tom Bombadil in it anyway? Ms. Roberts has apparently resigned herself to the situation, saying you can’t fight Hollywood but maintains her pub helps introduce people to the books and works of J.R.R. Tolkien who otherwise may have previous thought the Lord of the Rings was in fact Little Richard’s ceremonial title.

Of course, preserving and spreading the work of the books doesn’t really explain why the Hobbit pub’s loyalty cards have pictures of LotR film actor Elijah Wood on them but I’m sure that’ll be explained in due time.

It won’t? Oh, well.

Source: BBC.co.uk

The Walking Dead + Office Space

Despite its rampant popularity, The Walking Dead hasn’t always lent itself terribly well to internet humour, whether it be memes or mash-ups or whatever else. Maybe it’s the slower pace of the series compared to most prime-time drama out there, or its typical lack of comic relief, or maybe the writing is a little too inconsistent to inspire such activity. Who knows?

Then something like this little scene happens and within one day of the initial airing we’ve got something truly memorable floating around via YouTube user CombataceSA. It really is a perfect fit, perhaps almost too perfect to have happened naturally, as the comments have already speculated about.

Okay, so it’s not Tyrion Lannister bitch-slapping Joffrey for ten minutes set to Led Zeppelin’s Achilles Last Stand, but it’s a start! Still, there’s a question here that needs to be answered: zombies or copy machines? Dealing with the former could be a lot less frustrating.

Caffeine-Fueled Is Alive! Again!

This happens to us a lot.

Long story short: gremlins got onto the wing and brought the plane down. Or, a wizard did it. Or… issues with webhosting. Whatever it was (smart money is on the wizard) we’re back now. Unfortunately, everything else we did before isn’t. We’ll use some wizardry of our own to restore a few choice pieces from The Before Time but you should probably consider this to be a fresh start.

…and it’s not like we really needed all those random-ass news articles from 2008 anyway. No, these grapes aren’t sour.

The design is still a work in progress and could quite likely morph into something entirely different without any notice whatsoever. Actual content will trickle out… soonish. So, watch out for that and give our forums a visit if the wait drags on too much.

Thanks for the patience… assuming anyone stuck around these last couple months for us to thank. We’re getting there.