Oh, hi there! Welcome to Trailer Dissection! This new feature will attempt to wring a little bit of actual content and discussion out of news posts that would normally just be me playing copy-pasta with YouTube embed codes and calling them “articles”. Look! We’ve even got timestamps and everything, so you can really tell that a quantifiable number of minutes and seconds of effort were put into this!
Honestly, I don’t know if we’ll be doing this every time a trailer is posted here, as sooner or later one will come along that doesn’t carry the same amount of fandom investment in our staff as, say, Doctor Who. But we’ll do our best.
So, let’s get on with it.
These paps ain’t gonna smear themselves.
0:05: Not so much an observation as a curiosity, but how long has it been since Doctor Who produced a western story? The only one that comes to mind immediately happened during William Hartnell’s era. There must be something more recent than that, right?
0:10: The cyborg character here looks like the product of one memorable night between Red Dwarf‘s Kryten and a Hirogen from Star Trek: Voyager that should stay in Vegas. It may also be worth mentioning that Red Dwarf‘s western episode is still one of my favourites.
0:18: Karen Gillan in a very Zooey Deschanel blue-striped shirt is completely diverting my attention away from the cleavage-heavy Cleopatra on the right.
0:19: Also, I really want this scene to end in a Tabula Rasa moment but it probably won’t.
0:23: “Seriously, there is an outrageous amount of running involved.” But hey, nice location shooting. Is that Utah again?
0:33: Amy Pond is not terribly great with firearms. So, there’s a strike against anyone still labelling her as a Mary Sue. Well, that and the near-crippling psychological damage. If you classify the latter as an “endearing character flaw”… good luck, I guess.
0:41: I like to imagine that this happens to the Doctor a lot whenever bartenders wise-up to the psychic paper trick.
0:48: Rory is starting to resemble a thinner Sean Bean, or a shorter/British-ier John Krasinski, depending on where you pause the trailer during this sequence. Even money on whether or not either is an improvement, but hey, anything beats the rat tail he was rocking in the Dream Lord’s false future.
0:52: Fallout power armor! Finally, that old easter egg is canonical!
1:00: Actually, in the daylight those suits look more like those wobbly alien things from the opening scene of The Fifth Element. Aziz, light! Thank you, Aziz.
1:02: Mike Tyson is gonna pull another Hangover 2 if you’re not careful here, guys.
1:07: The dialogue (and the design) would have us believe that we’ve got Dalek eyestalk periscopes in action here, their greatest technological breakthrough since solving that whole stairs issue. But who knows? It could just be R2D2 playing a prank.
Now, a few stray thoughts not specific to the trailer itself.
• The new companion played by Jenna-Louise Coleman is conspicuously absent so far. No doubt she’ll appear in the second half of the season and with a shiny introduction trailer of her very own. Potentially no overlap with Amy and Rory in that case, which is a shame – I always like it when the TARDIS is a little crowded.
• As this is an anniversary season, I have to wonder if we’ll get a multiple Doctor story. It would be awesome to see something like that with Paul McGann and Christopher Eccleston’s Doctors so we can finally get a peek at whatever the hell happened to force that regeneration. Throw in Sylvester McCoy for kicks. Hell, even if it’s just the new school Doctors, it would be fun. Fanwank? Sure. But after 50 years, why the hell not?
• This would also be a good time to bring back Captain Jack Harkness, preferably with Gwen Cooper and Rex Matheson in tow. Considering how Torchwood‘s Miracle Day season ended, calling the Doctor in for a house call should be the first thing they do. If they were smart. Which… they aren’t.
Thanks for reading! Maybe we’ll do this again someday!