Tag Archives: diaoyu

Jackie Chan Solves The Senkaku Islands Dispute

Last time on China vs. Japan II: Electric Boogaloo: embassy riots, widespread corporate property damage, waterfights with Taiwanese fishing boats, and the main event: topless bodypainting, because it’s just warm enough in China right now to protest half naked. Silly Ukrainians.

When questioned by the Taiwanese media on the issue, a certain Jackie Chan, star of stage and screen and video game, put his foot down and resolved the matter once and for all:

“The Diaoyu Islands (Chinese name for Senkaku Islands) definitely belong to China!” said Chan, who was in Taiwan to film scenes for his upcoming film Chinese Zodiac.

He added, “The Diaoyu Islands belong to China, but what I say doesn’t count, it is up to the government to deal with it; I wish I am Superman, so I can pull the island closer.“

The line must be drawn here! This far and no further!

I can only assume that Chris Tucker and Owen Wilson were unavailable for comment, which is just fine; those two should never be given the last word on issues of naval sovereignty. Amateur diplomats, the both of ’em.

Look, Japan: I’m sorry. You know I love you guys, but you’re going up against Jackie now. There’s just no countering that. No amount of Gackts, Hard Gays, Ultimo Dragons, Morning Musumes, and Doraemons are going to stand up against The Drunken Master. You’ve had a pretty good run with that whole “Senkaku Islands” thing, but it’s over. No hard feelings, alright? We’ll always have Persona.

Jackie Chan. We’re done here.

Source: RocketNews24 / Image: Asian Movie Pulse

China Protests The Senkaku Islands Dispute With Topless Bodypainting

Whether you refer to them as the Senkaku isles or the Diaoyus or just a bunch of craggy rocks in an ocean somewhere, everyone in the region seems to have staked themselves claim, and the situation is only growing more intense. Even Taiwan has stepped up their interest, which got them into a naval waterfight with Japan the other day over the issue. Taiwan anywhere near matters of sovereignty with China is usually a cause for concern.

China, not content to simply incite their citizenry to riot at the Japanese embassy, has apparently found a far more titillating alternative: topless bodypainting. It’s like Japan’s recent boob-centric charity efforts, just with less groping involved. Allegedly.

There’s a rather large and totally not creepy gallery of images from this event over at Senkaku Complex, if that’s your thing. Don’t lie. We’ll know if you’re lying.

Source: Senkaku Complex (NSFW).