Tag Archives: skynet in disguise

Japan Invents The Handjob Machine

Of course they did. Please forgive the generalization, but… who else would?

Now here’s one rare example of something women have easier than men. A vibrator is just that: simple, to the point, effective. It doesn’t have to do much more than rumble a bit to accomplish it’s goal, and the rest is up to the user. Us guys on the other hand *cough* risk exploring the grey area of semi-manual stimulation that lies beyond our own limbs only at considerable peril.

Enter the SOM Hand Type Handjob Machine, a “masturbot” according to the product page. Honestly, I think they missed a perfect name for this in “Mr. Handy”. Isn’t this how the Cylons took over?

You can’t see me right now, but I’m shifting uncomfortably and wincing at the prospect of being anywhere within a hundred leagues of this contraption. Some jobs just shouldn’t be taken away from human hands. Yet, they must sell, otherwise no one would put them to market. Right?

Free money idea for the masturbot people: miniturize this thing and stuff it inside a RealDoll. Brr. I just creeped myself out with that one.

Source: Topless Robot. Image: Kanojo Toys.